I would like your opinion.
Have you ever had a horrible job that you were reluctant to/slow to leave?
I'm talking about the kind of work situation that thinking about it made you feel physically ill.
You dreaded going to it and hated being at it because your coworkers were hostile morons that acted unprofessionally, management was only slightly more competent than a cageful of monkeys having a poo-flinging contest, your job and/or professional licensure was at threat of being put on the line every time you stepped foot in the door, yet you hung on to this job anyway and kept putting off job hunting because... well, you just didn't know why, at the time.
Why were you reluctant to leave? What kept you there?
How did you arrive at the decision to leave?
If you are one of those people that don't let "little" things like what I've described above bother you, and can work under ANY circumstance, despite how psychologically taxing it is, what are your tricks?
This was a situation I've dealt with myself in the recent past, a friend is going through it now, and I'd like more insight into this matter. Thank you for your time.
5 comments:
Yes! Yes! Yes! and it played mind games with my head until I almost went crazy - seriously. I had insomnia.. and would throw up after interactions with my boss - he was an evil evil evil man (who has since committed suicide - karma). But I digress...
At first I couldn't quit because everyone thought I was so "successful".. and what would they think if I just quit such an awesome job.. then again, I couldn't quit because I was in debt.. ugh.. so, I hatched a plan.. save money to run away from home (uhhhh I was 32 and was in my own place... still you know what I mean).. get out of debt, sell everything I own and quit.. so, on the day of my 32nd birthday.. .all my plans in place.. I told my boss I QUIT #*&%... you get the idea.. it was the first time, yes, the FIRST time, I used the F word outloud. I very politely handed in my letter of resignation and with a smile on my face reached out to shake his hand and said "F*%K you very much".. he got the oddest tilt to his head like he couldn't quite believe what I'd said.. and I walked out.
I did sell everything I owned, packed up my truck and my dog and cat.. and moved to Alaska to "sort things out".. by myself... alone.. solo.. single.. I made a list of all the things the perfect job would have.. and then tried to find careers that matched my top 10 requirements.. ended up deciding on nursing.. went back to the lower 48.. went back to school for another bachelors degree and became a nurse.. fast forward 15 years and it was absolutely THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!
Yeah, I had to sacrifice a lot.. but it was so worth it.. because I'd done the work of really defining the type of job I wanted I never ever look back with regret.. I learned a lot from that horrendous experience.. 1) no one and I mean NO ONE will ever treat me like I allowed that man to treat me 2) I will never be in the kind of debt I was in at that time because it's like a ball and chain cuz if I hadn't been in debt I'd have been out of there much sooner 3) I am MUCH stronger than I thought I was and when other tough times come I remind myself of this fact..
So, my questions are "what are you scared of" and "what does staying at a job that makes you miserable say about what you think about yourself"? Do you think you don't deserve better??
Good luck.. this dissonance that you're feeling could be the beginning of an awesome awesome thing!
Dag dab it.. I wrote this really long beautiful answer.. and it was so long it wouldn't process.. ARGH.. so now, I'll just say YES, I've experienced something very similar.. my leaving was not an overnight thing.. it took me a year to pay off debt and get in the position where I could leave. But the chain of events that came about because of that one decision changed my life completely FOR THE BETTER in ways I could never ever have predicted. Was I afraid? you bet! Did my friends and family say outloud to me that I was nuts?? uh huh, they did. Oh well. Only I could make the decision because only I would deal with the consequences of the decision.
So, I would ask yourself 1) what are you scared of 2) what does your willingness to stay at an unfulfilling job say about what you think of yourself? 3) are you worried about what other people will think?..
One last thing.. you NEVER get courage in advance.. it always comes in the very moment you need it - then, you'll look back and say WOW, I was courageous!
Good luck!
Looks like they both made it through. Sorry it took so long to approve, these both wound up in the spam folder somehow.
PS: We're in the same profession ;)
Yes I have...Then about the time you were writinng this blog I was given the option to retire early rather than being forced to transfer back to my home office. I had 5 days to decide. After lots of internal vascillating capped by a one-man brainstorming session (with vino), I decided to accept the transfer. Citing the economy and having more to contribute blah blah. Truth is that I was just a Sissy.
So then, when it was too late to change my mind, I started dreaming again of open roads and motorcycles (don't have one, but I ain't getting any younger, jes saying). Roads are safer and less cold when contemplated from the comfort of an armchair. Ulysses would hang his head in shame. When I die no one will be even able to SEE my life's lees. LOL (sort of).
Al
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