2. Thanks for the free material to pick up dog poop with, I guess.
3. The wrapping came from a dollar store. If your household products are obtained by making a special trip to the dollar store, it's probably not in your best fiduciary interest to be dispersing said household products willy-nilly throughout the neighborhood.
4. The wrapper was for a 12 pack. Where are the other 10 rolls? A mystery for the ages....
5. The duct tape you strung to cross the street between the telephone pole on the opposite corner to my corner? Thank you for using the stop sign instead of my fence to anchor it. I do not condone this, however, as this is a misuse of duct tape. Duct tape is a versatile and valuable commodity. You are disrespecting it by using it as a TP substitute.
6. The candy-stripe effect you tried on one fence rail out of over 2 dozen fell short. B+ for idea, D- for execution and effort.
7. It's not Halloween yet.
8. Welp, at least it's not spray paint or the remnants of a car crashing through it.
9. Or the boards yanked off, and the finials unscrewed. A bit of Gorilla Glue is keeping *that* from ever happening again, isn't it, you little bastards. It was suggested to me by more than one person that applying paint laced with ground glass shards to the finials would be "overreacting". You call it "overreacting", I call it, "teaching a valuable and memorable life lesson to not touch things that don't belong to you, especially if you are doing it with the intent to fuck around."
10. I am fortunate to live in a neighborhood where the worst thing that happens to my property is once in a blue moon, some TP winds up in the trees.
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